Yet another year.....
Nov 12th, 1999
Probably that one day of my life which I wish was untrue...Or just wish I could erase it from my mind!
I was 16 when I lost my dad
Can vividly recollect that morning when everything seemed so normal....The day started off in the same pace as it always did...
Mom was busy preparing breakfast and I was getting ready for school....
Chanted my routine prayers in a hurry....and hurriedly stepped out of the house...
Felt like a normal day; busy roads; people off to work and school;......
Classes commenced...not that I really remember what was happening then....
My friends and I used to have fun of our own and try to make each day interesting!
However, I do know that I had a French class scheduled at 10:30am...
My french tutor was this old, short-tempered man always waiting for the best chance to snap at that one lucky student....
Well, putting all those negative thoughts aside, I got all set with my french text book.....and just when I was about to get into the listening mode;...
This girl steps in with a very confused look on her face....(Perhaps some clarifications regarding the french class schedule, I assumed!)
Well, I was obviously wrong. I finally learned that there were some people waiting for me at the reception....
I was caught by surprise...I was never a BAD student...certainly not the kind who never used to attend class; not the kind who would get punished and be summoned by the principal...
My tension-levels some how tend to shoot up when I have that "uncertainty" factor boggling in my mind and this was pretty much the same when I was asked to report to the reception block.
I guess the quantum of worries began to intensify when I was asked to pack my bag and leave class...and there I was, walking down that long corridor all by myself; so confused as to what on earth had I done to get myself into something which seemed scary yet unknown!
I reached the main gate and was approached by one of my mom's colleague who had hired a vehicle for me....I tried to calm myself down and in a very fake-calm(yet scared) tone asked him what was happening. He said that my mom had informed him about my dad being sick and wanted me to get home immediately!
And there it was; it seemed like just then reality dawned upon me...
It was more like a flashback; my mind has never had such random flow of thoughts ever!
I could see myself being carried by my dad as a child, celebrating my birthdays, going out for dinners with him, having ice-cream by the side of the creek, throwing surprise parties, dancing, singing......and somehow in the back of mind..I knew..it was all OVER.
The drive back home was terrible. Just a 15 min drive but perhaps the longest I have ever felt. I was restless, still those thoughts forcing its way through my mind....My eyes were growing red by the second. I was trying to hold back my tears hoping that whatever was running through my mind was all false.
And then I reached the entrance of my apartment...dreading every step that I took...hoping that everything was just my imagination...
I walked up ; probably the slowest ever pace at which I mounted the stairs...and in a couple of minutes I was at my doorstep....
The same house which I had left about 4 hours before...now bore a completely different look...
The sounds of people crying suggested it all...
It's been 9 years and every year, this day brings those tears back in my eyes!
It's painful to relive those depressing moments....but with each single day it has taught me to grow stronger - both in mind and heart!
I miss my dad way too much for me to explain it; but I do know he's certainly out there somewhere and giving us all his blessings!
Love you loads Daddy! Miss you!
