Monday, February 16, 2009

Sardar's back!! Oye Paajii...



A Sardar and an American are seated next to each other on a flight from Los Angeles to New York. The American asks if he would like to play a fun-game.

The Sardar, tired, just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.

The American persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun.

He says, “I ask you a question, and if you don’t know the answer, you pay me $5, and vice versa.”

Again, the Sardar declines and tries to get some sleep.

The American, now worked up, says, “Okay, if you don’t know the answer, you pay me $5, and if I don’t know the answer, I’ll pay you $500.”

This gets the sardar’s attention and, figuring there will be no end to this! torment, agrees to the game.

The American asks the first question, “What’s the distance from the earth to the moon?”

The Sardar doesn’t say a word, reaches into his wallet, pulls out a $5 bill and hands it to the American.

“Okay,” says the American, “Your turn.”

So the Sardar asks, “What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?”

The American thinks about it. No answer. Puzzled, he takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references. No answer!

He taps into the air-phone with his modem and searches the Internet and the Library of Congress. No answer.
Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and co-workers.

Checks the input. All to no avail!

Finally, a long time later, he wakes the Sardar and hands him $500.

The Sardar thanks him and turns back to get his sleep.

The American, more than a little miffed, stirs the Sardar and asks,
“Well,
what’s the answer?”

Without a word, the Sardar reaches into his purse, hands the American $5, and
goes back to sleep!

—————————————————————————————
Once, two Sardars were feeling bored and decided to play a few games of chess to pass the time.
They were doing this for some time, when two more sardar friends dropped by. Seeing them play chess, they said - “Come on guys, we are feeling bored too. Let us play doubles!”

—————————————————————————————
Once a Sardarji went to the city of Mumbai for the first time to meet his father. His father had asked him to keep walking in the direction of the sunrise until he eventually reached hishouse. Since, the Sardarji was new to the city he decided to ask a passerby the direction in which the sun rose in Mumbai - east, west, north or south?The passerby who was also a Sardarji thought for some time and then said, “Main bhi is sheher mein naya aaya hoon!” ( I am also new in this city!)
—————————————————————————————
Our Sardar bhai is at the railway station. He asks a man “When will Rajdhani Express go from here”? Man Replies 12.30. “When will Punjab Express go from here”?Man Replies 10.30. “When will Deccan Queen go from here”? Man Replies 12.30. Thus the sardar goes on asking the schedule for all trains. Now the man gets fed up and asks whether he wants to go to Punjab by train or not.Sardar replies, “NO. I only want to cross the tracks!”
—————————————————————————————
Sardarji bought a brand new Maruti and decided to drive down from Amritsar, where he lived, to Jalandar to meet his friend. He reached there in a few hours. After spending a few days there, he decided to return, and called up his mother to expect him in the evening. But he didn’t reach in the evening and not the next day either. When he finally reached home on the third day, his distraught mother ran and asked him ” Arre Puttar, ki hoya?” (What Happened, My Son?)

The Sardarji got out, obviously very tired from a long journey, and said, “Oy, ye Marutti wale pagal hain, agge jaane waaste chaar gear banaate hain, aur pichche jaane waaste sirf ik?” (These Maruti Car people are crazy! They have four gears for going forward, but only one for going back!)
—————————————————————————————
One day a Sardar happened to see a marathon race.
"What the guys are doing?" asked the sardar.
"We are running a marathon. The winner will get a prize” replied one of the runners.
"Only the winner will get prize? Then why others are participating!!" , exclaimed the Sardar
—————————————————————————————
2 sardars were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1 : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
sardar 2 : Dont worry, I have one more.
—————————————————————————————
Sardar enters the kitchen and opens the sugarbox. He looks inside and closes it.Wife observes the whole episode.He again comes and does the same stuff. His wife then asks him "Why are you doing this?"
Sardar replies "Doctor told to check sugar level regularly".
—————————————————————————————
Two Sardars walk into a bar, and each of them order a drink. They go and sit down and start toasting and cheering, “51 days! 51 Days!!”
About five minutes later, another Sardar walks in; orders a drink, and joins the other two in the cheering.
Finally, another Sardar walks in with what looks like a picture. He puts the picture in the middle of the table, and starts cheering with the others, “51 days!51 days!!
The Bartender starts to get really curious, so he walks over to discover that the picture is a Puzzle.
He walks over to one of the Sardar and asks, “What on earth are you doing??"
"Well” the Sardar says, “Everyone thinks Sardars are so stupid, so we proved them wrong. On the box of this puzzle, it says 2-4 years, but we finished it in only 51 days!!!
—————————————————————————————
The doctor told a Sardarji that if he ran 8 kilometers a day for 300 days, he would lose 34 kilos. At the end of 300 days, the Sardarji called the doctor to report he had lost the weight,but he had a problem.”What’s the problem?” asked the doctor."I’m 2400 kms from home", replied the Sardar.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

An eventful day for TENNIS...



Sunday, 1st February 2009

An amazing day for TENNIS; but certainly a depressing day for all FedEx fans.
Just when we thought Roger missed the Wimbledon title by such a negligible margin(considering the manner in which he fought his way back, being 2 sets down), little did we know we were going to witness a similar result in the Australian Open.

And to add to the distressing result, all his fans had to witness something even more painful. Watch him CRY! :-( SOB!
"He cried and it was hard not to cry with him. The sight of Roger Federer’s lower lip trembling would have been enough to start most soft-hearted observers off, but by the time his tears started flowing, a far proportion of the 15,000 at Rod Laver Arena and the millions watching around the world were probably reaching for the tissues too. If that had not done the trick, then the sight of Rafael Nadal, his conqueror, putting his arm around him in friendly consolation, would have set off a worldwide outbreak of sniffles."

Australia being a nation which values mateship to such a great extent would not have got to witness an embodiment of true sportsmanship with a champion comforting another.

Roger was going great in the initial sets but faultered drastically towards the last set. Rafael blazed through the game like a lightening streak. He undoubtedly displayed a scene-stealing performance; broke Roger's serve on plenty occasions; made fewer unforced errors; the guy was simply at his BEST!

And then came the end to yet another final of the two most incredible tennis stars the sport has ever produced! Tough time for all Roger fans (including me) and it just got worse during the presentation ceremony. Being the runner-up he was called to the dais first. With all the adulation and applause from the audience, he exclaimed in absolute grief “God, it’s killing me" ; and the sobs took over! :-(

Fans all over the Rod Laver Arena were shocked; shocked to see their champion display a public outburst of emotion for the first time. And it was painful to see him struggle for words.
And then as Rafael was called to give his speech, the true sportsman that he is, he went up to Roger and reassured him with a hug.
Rog, sorry for today,” said Rafael, turning to his friend with genuine compassion in his voice. “I really know how you feel right now. Remember that you are a great champion and you are one of the best in history and you will beat Pete Sampras’ 14 titles for sure.”

Roger mustered a weak smile and nodded his appreciation, but the pain was still there on his face. It wasn’t long before the tears began to roll again.

Certainly one of the most eventful grand slams I've ever seen; and it really reflected on how passionate a champion is of his game!

Cheers to the champion(S) and to TENNIS!

Monday, February 2, 2009

Economic Crunch



Job Cuts, Lay-offs, economic crunch, financial slowdown, retrenchment, recession - the BUZZ words for the current financial year! And everyone's experiencing the pinch of it!

Infact I was just looking at the Layoff tracker on Forbes. The numbers look scary!

The biggest economic turmoil I've ever witnessed. And in some way or the other it has affected all levels of employment. Jobs are at stake - One day you're earning big bucks and the next day you have a pink slip at your desk. No hikes, no promotions, no bonuses - Elements that were considered default with every year of work have now become void!

I now hear people say "Who cares about the bonus; I want my job intact"!

Massive job cuts across the globe have got people thinking "Where is this heading off to". People have started to cut down expenditure on everything - clothing, food, accommodation, travel....Everyone's beginning to feel the crunch.

MONEY has made man so dependent on it that without it he's like a drowned fish!